By my count Maggie got 20 "kisses", 17 "hugs" and 6 "loves" from Hannah. That's a pretty good first day if you ask me.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Hugs and Kisses
The day after Maggie was born, Hannah wrote a book about her. Her teacher stapled the pages but Hannah wrote it all by herself without any prompting. It made my heart melt when I read it. Here it is:
By my count Maggie got 20 "kisses", 17 "hugs" and 6 "loves" from Hannah. That's a pretty good first day if you ask me.
By my count Maggie got 20 "kisses", 17 "hugs" and 6 "loves" from Hannah. That's a pretty good first day if you ask me.
Confessions Of A Dangerous Crumpler
"Daaaaad" she said. "Daddy, daddy, daddy, daaaaaaddddy! Look at me. Aren't I doing a nice job of folding my toilet paper?"
"Yes Grace" I said. "You are doing a great job folding your toilet paper. Who taught you to do that?"
"Emma taught me. I used to be a crumpler. It wasted a LOT of toilet paper before. Now I am a folder."
"That's great Gracie. Keep up the good work. Do you think you could teach Hannah?"
"Nope. Hannah's on her own. Gotta go! See ya!"
"Wait a minute! Get back in here. You've still got to wash your hands."
"okey doke!"
"Yes Grace" I said. "You are doing a great job folding your toilet paper. Who taught you to do that?"
"Emma taught me. I used to be a crumpler. It wasted a LOT of toilet paper before. Now I am a folder."
"That's great Gracie. Keep up the good work. Do you think you could teach Hannah?"
"Nope. Hannah's on her own. Gotta go! See ya!"
"Wait a minute! Get back in here. You've still got to wash your hands."
"okey doke!"
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
She Huffed And She Puffed And...
she signed an eviction notice. Apparently that wasn't enough so the landlord, Mary Duff, called in the elite squads of Epi and Dural to complete the job. Together they calmed things down enough so that the two parties could work out an agreement.
After a twenty hour stand-off that started Tuesday evening Baby Duff #3 was ousted forcibly from her home Wednesday evening at 5:25 PM. A little worn out from the confrontation the baby's first words were "waaa!"
The squatter was later officially identified as one Margaret Ellen Duff, aka Maggie Duff. Weighing in at 7.6 lbs and a mere 18.9 inches, the landlord was please at the ease and quickness of the enforcement of the eviction once papers were officially served.
Big sisters Hannah and Grace have met Maggie and agree that she is "cute" and "little" and have invited Maggie to live with them until she is old enough to attend college or they fight over Barbie dolls. That will occur soon, but for now Ms. Duff is in custody at a local Medical Center for physical and psychological examination after her ordeal. She is slated to be released with the next 24 hours if all things check out okay.
Mary Duff stunned her real estate investment partner Dan Duff by announcing that given the right circumstances she might consider renting the space again. Dan Duff did not immediately respond, but later issued a statement stating that "while my wife has good intentions, we are going to wait until the medication wears off before making any further decisions on renting to new tenants".
After a twenty hour stand-off that started Tuesday evening Baby Duff #3 was ousted forcibly from her home Wednesday evening at 5:25 PM. A little worn out from the confrontation the baby's first words were "waaa!"
The squatter was later officially identified as one Margaret Ellen Duff, aka Maggie Duff. Weighing in at 7.6 lbs and a mere 18.9 inches, the landlord was please at the ease and quickness of the enforcement of the eviction once papers were officially served.
Big sisters Hannah and Grace have met Maggie and agree that she is "cute" and "little" and have invited Maggie to live with them until she is old enough to attend college or they fight over Barbie dolls. That will occur soon, but for now Ms. Duff is in custody at a local Medical Center for physical and psychological examination after her ordeal. She is slated to be released with the next 24 hours if all things check out okay.
Mary Duff stunned her real estate investment partner Dan Duff by announcing that given the right circumstances she might consider renting the space again. Dan Duff did not immediately respond, but later issued a statement stating that "while my wife has good intentions, we are going to wait until the medication wears off before making any further decisions on renting to new tenants".
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Smash Therapy
I've been thinking about this one for several years now. It's solid and given the right location could be a money maker.
Name: Smash Therapy
Concept: A place where you can go and break stuff
Holden Caulfield inspired this idea. He smashed out the windows in the family garage the night his brother died. Peter Finch did too with the scene in Network when he announced on a broad cast "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore" and then promptly urging everyone to toss their TV sets out the window. Heck, David Lettermen does it all the time when he drops stuff off the side of the Ed Sullivan Theatre.
Whether you're frustrated, angry, want to vent or just like to break stuff Smash Therapy is a place for you. You can bring your own items to break or destroy. Like that picture of your cheating ex and that stuff teddy bear they gave you. Why not post the photo on the target wall and tagged it with a paint ball gun, then put the bear in the industrial size shredder. Or just break some beer bottles against a brick wall (we're into recycling here). Or line up for the bowling ball smasher where you can pick a ceramic item, set it up on a pedestal and fling a bowling bowl attached to a chain (mounted on to the ceiling) and smash the object to pieces.
Still need to vent? Why not sign up for a minute in the sound proof yell room? Before you go in be sure to write what your angry about on the chalk board. A sound meter will rate your decibel level. Highest decibel gets a gift certificate. The options for destroying items is endless and constantly being updated. Bring your friends. Make it a party. Have a theme night (Raider Hater night in KC would be a hit). HR departments could include gift certificates with pink slips.
It's not entirely just about breaking stuff. It's a safe outlet for getting out aggression. Smash Therapy also provides information on real therapists and access to help lines. Scented candles, soothing oils, books, tapes, you name it are also available. The goal of Smash Therapy is to bring in angry customers and send them away knowing they were able to go to a place to safely vent their frustrations.
All this can be yours should you choose to implement it for the low, low, price of: give credit to Dan and the 1%/1% deal stated in earlier posts (to be referred to from this point as the "One for me/One for charity" arrangement).
Oh, some possible tag lines "Go Break Something Today", "Da, da, da, ta, da...I'm breaking it!", "Get Smashed", "Smashing Baby. Simply Smashing!"
Name: Smash Therapy
Concept: A place where you can go and break stuff
Holden Caulfield inspired this idea. He smashed out the windows in the family garage the night his brother died. Peter Finch did too with the scene in Network when he announced on a broad cast "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore" and then promptly urging everyone to toss their TV sets out the window. Heck, David Lettermen does it all the time when he drops stuff off the side of the Ed Sullivan Theatre.
Whether you're frustrated, angry, want to vent or just like to break stuff Smash Therapy is a place for you. You can bring your own items to break or destroy. Like that picture of your cheating ex and that stuff teddy bear they gave you. Why not post the photo on the target wall and tagged it with a paint ball gun, then put the bear in the industrial size shredder. Or just break some beer bottles against a brick wall (we're into recycling here). Or line up for the bowling ball smasher where you can pick a ceramic item, set it up on a pedestal and fling a bowling bowl attached to a chain (mounted on to the ceiling) and smash the object to pieces.
Still need to vent? Why not sign up for a minute in the sound proof yell room? Before you go in be sure to write what your angry about on the chalk board. A sound meter will rate your decibel level. Highest decibel gets a gift certificate. The options for destroying items is endless and constantly being updated. Bring your friends. Make it a party. Have a theme night (Raider Hater night in KC would be a hit). HR departments could include gift certificates with pink slips.
It's not entirely just about breaking stuff. It's a safe outlet for getting out aggression. Smash Therapy also provides information on real therapists and access to help lines. Scented candles, soothing oils, books, tapes, you name it are also available. The goal of Smash Therapy is to bring in angry customers and send them away knowing they were able to go to a place to safely vent their frustrations.
All this can be yours should you choose to implement it for the low, low, price of: give credit to Dan and the 1%/1% deal stated in earlier posts (to be referred to from this point as the "One for me/One for charity" arrangement).
Oh, some possible tag lines "Go Break Something Today", "Da, da, da, ta, da...I'm breaking it!", "Get Smashed", "Smashing Baby. Simply Smashing!"
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Another Biz Idea!
This one comes from my brother. He said it was cool to share as long as he gets credit.
Name: Saved By The No Bell
Concept: An on/off switch for the doorbell
Someone must have thought of this one before, haven't they? Kevin emailed me to tell me about a conversation he and his wife had while at dinner a few nights ago at the home of some close friends. They all have kids ranging from teens to tots. Here's what he said:
"It came out of a conversation we had with friends over dinner last weekend in which we were kvetching over solicitors and zealots ringing the bell when babies are napping. I'll bet almost all parents have experienced this concern, which is what makes it an attractive idea."
So there you go... an idea for someone to implement.
Name: Saved By The No Bell
Concept: An on/off switch for the doorbell
Someone must have thought of this one before, haven't they? Kevin emailed me to tell me about a conversation he and his wife had while at dinner a few nights ago at the home of some close friends. They all have kids ranging from teens to tots. Here's what he said:
"It came out of a conversation we had with friends over dinner last weekend in which we were kvetching over solicitors and zealots ringing the bell when babies are napping. I'll bet almost all parents have experienced this concern, which is what makes it an attractive idea."
So there you go... an idea for someone to implement.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Free Business Opportunity Idea
I have lots of ideas. Lots. And quite a few are for new business opportunities. I know that there is no way I'll ever implement some of these, so instead of just letting them sit in the back of my head collecting dust, I've decided to share them. I am sharing them with anyone who will put these ideas into action. All I ask is that if you end up using one of these ideas and have any success, that you simply send me 1% of the gross revenue and give 1% of gross revenue to a charity. Hey... I gotta make a living somehow right? The charity can be anyone of your choosing. In the interest of all I'd like to know which one you choose. Deal? Okay, here's my first of many free new business ideas:
Name: Funny Gram's
Concept: Singing telegram's delivered by retired Grannies.
I got the idea while traveling back to Kansas City from Chicago via Amtrak. While sitting in the viewing car I did some people watching and noticed a group of what I could only describe as cute, little, old granny types, sitting at a table playing cards. It dawned on me that as Baby Boomers get older, more and more will be hitting retirement age and might like a fun way to earn a little "mad money". All they need is to have reliable transportation to get to assignments on time and be willing to sing a song that would be written for the occasion. They could do it how ever they wanted. The more creative grannies would of course earn bigger tips. Wouldn't that be a hoot?
All orders could be taken via web site and then farmed out to various grannies who have signed up throughout the U.S. Heck, this could be global!
So, there you have it. A business idea cooked up on the train in about three minutes.
Let me know if you give it a shot!
Name: Funny Gram's
Concept: Singing telegram's delivered by retired Grannies.
I got the idea while traveling back to Kansas City from Chicago via Amtrak. While sitting in the viewing car I did some people watching and noticed a group of what I could only describe as cute, little, old granny types, sitting at a table playing cards. It dawned on me that as Baby Boomers get older, more and more will be hitting retirement age and might like a fun way to earn a little "mad money". All they need is to have reliable transportation to get to assignments on time and be willing to sing a song that would be written for the occasion. They could do it how ever they wanted. The more creative grannies would of course earn bigger tips. Wouldn't that be a hoot?
All orders could be taken via web site and then farmed out to various grannies who have signed up throughout the U.S. Heck, this could be global!
So, there you have it. A business idea cooked up on the train in about three minutes.
Let me know if you give it a shot!
Friday, September 15, 2006
Troops Vs. Soldiers
Somebody help me understand this please. Why do media outlets report "4 U.S. Troops Killed In Iraq" vs. "4 U.S. Soldiers Killed In Iraq"? I don't get it. Troops is plural. Troops is supposed to refer to a group of soldiers or a military unit. Referring to a soldier as a troop makes me feel like we are distancing ourselves from the individual. It seems more like an anonymous drone that is being referred to, rather than an individual who is performing a very specific, often dangerous role at the direction and discretion of our military and government leaders. I'd much rather know that an individual gave their life for our country than hear that a "troop" had been killed. I'd really rather hear that no one was killed, but troops seems too distant and we need to be closer and real and understand that those who are really at risk have a name and a face and are individuals. Okay...short rant, but this really bugs me.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Consider Creative Commons
I first read about Creative Commons about four or five months ago. I wanted to learn more and so I did some poking around at the site and learned that it's a pretty cool thing. There are a wide variety of types of Creative Commons Licenses that you can put on your site. What they do is let visitors to your site know how you feel about people using your creative property. Your creative property can be anything from photography, music, lyrics, short stories, articles, artwork... anything you create. And it's free.
I decided that with all the surfing going around, sharing of links and at the off-chance that a visitor to my site might possibly like what I have posted and want to use it that I had better get a Creative Commons License on the site. Heck, what if someone wanted to use my stuff and couldn't find me to ask for permission? A license on the site tells them right away how I feel about using my stuff.
And that's just what happened. Rod Taylor at CoActive Marketing was doing some research on an article he was writing for Promo Magazine and came across this blog. He liked several of my posts and wanted to use excerpts in his article. I found out later that he tried to reach me to talk about this before he submitted the article, but silly me did not have my email address on my blogger profile (I do now). But because I had the license on the site he knew what my comfort level was with repurposing my stuff. The license I chose basically says that as long as you give me credit and do not alter it without my permission you can use it however you want. And thus he did.
Oh, and the article? What was it about you ask? What else but the Wienermobile. If you are interested you can read the article here.
I emailed Rod after I read the article to give some props for a great piece and that's when I found out he tried to contact me but couldn't. I don't have actual confirmation that the license on the site gave him peace of mind to know that he could use it without actually having to speak with me about it. But he used it the right way.
When I started writing this blog I did not think that someone would use my posts as content for an article or really anything else. Signing up for Creative Commons license was just a lark... you know just on the off chance that it might happen. Looks like that happened sooner than expected. And that is fun.
I decided that with all the surfing going around, sharing of links and at the off-chance that a visitor to my site might possibly like what I have posted and want to use it that I had better get a Creative Commons License on the site. Heck, what if someone wanted to use my stuff and couldn't find me to ask for permission? A license on the site tells them right away how I feel about using my stuff.
And that's just what happened. Rod Taylor at CoActive Marketing was doing some research on an article he was writing for Promo Magazine and came across this blog. He liked several of my posts and wanted to use excerpts in his article. I found out later that he tried to reach me to talk about this before he submitted the article, but silly me did not have my email address on my blogger profile (I do now). But because I had the license on the site he knew what my comfort level was with repurposing my stuff. The license I chose basically says that as long as you give me credit and do not alter it without my permission you can use it however you want. And thus he did.
Oh, and the article? What was it about you ask? What else but the Wienermobile. If you are interested you can read the article here.
I emailed Rod after I read the article to give some props for a great piece and that's when I found out he tried to contact me but couldn't. I don't have actual confirmation that the license on the site gave him peace of mind to know that he could use it without actually having to speak with me about it. But he used it the right way.
When I started writing this blog I did not think that someone would use my posts as content for an article or really anything else. Signing up for Creative Commons license was just a lark... you know just on the off chance that it might happen. Looks like that happened sooner than expected. And that is fun.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Do You Squidoo?
Seth Godin is at it again. He's started something new. Something called Squidoo. Here's a brief description from the site itself:
"We have built a new online platform and community that makes it easy for anyone to build a single page--called a lens--on a topic, idea, product or cause he is passionate about. These lenses in turn help finders get unique, human perspectives instead of computer-selected and often irrelevant search results. Not only can Lensmasters spread their ideas, get recognized for their knowledge, and send more traffic to their Web sites and blogs—they could also earn royalties..."
Well, that was all I needed to read...spread my ideas, get recognized for my knowledge and send more traffic to my blog. Oh, and earn royalties?!?!? I'm in!
It took about an hour and a half to build my lens and get it up and running. All without a clue as to how to write HTML or anything like it. And just what lens did I create? What do I dare to think I'm an expert on? The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile of course. Okay, I may not have all the info on the big dog, but I did drive it for a year, visit well over a thousand grocery stores, hospitals and schools. Not to mention handing out all those wiener whistles, going to the SuperBowl, All-Star game, getting on the Today Show and getting quoted in every major newspaper in the country. There's also the time it was towed, driving without a heater in Buffalo in the dead of winter, hanging with Little Oscar and that little run in with the Canadian government we don't talk about... enough experience for me to feel comfy saying I have a bit more knowledge than the average bear on the subject.
So, check it out: www.squidoo.com/wienermobile.
There you can find links to all things Wienermobile related. Photo sets on Flickr, recent posts on blogs from technorati, auction items on ebay, books and movies about the dog at amazon.com as well as a whole list of links I've supplied to various sites on the web with info on the vehicle, it's history and how to become a Hotdogger.
Now that I've got an official site on the subject I think Mary just might let me take the boxes and boxes of Wienermobilia I've collected out of the office closet and put it up around the house. You'd think she'd be open to it. After all, if it wasn't for the Wienermobile and my Hotdogger-in-crime Jeanne, Mary and I would have never met.
Oh and while your there please leave a comment or ask a question. I'll be updating the lens all the time. And please share the link to my lens with everyone you know. My goal is to get in the top 100 of lenses. Right now I'm lens #4,765 out of 37,000+ lenses.
Thanks!
Friday, September 01, 2006
Things That Amaze Me, Volume 1
- Asparagus Pee
- Breathing
- Love
- Watching Our Children Grow
- How funny farts are
- How much Mary hates the word fart
- People who can play the piano
- That the while the West Coast has Leno and the East Coast has Letterman & Conan, that the Midwest has no one.
- David Byrne
- The concept of time
- Memories
- The beauty of a well written Haiku
- That even when I was able to fit 43 grapes into my mouth, Kevin was able to get 50+ in his.
- Snarfing a piece of Eli's Cheesecake
- The debate: Toe Cheese vs. Toe Jam
- That people still smoke
- The popularity of myspace.com
- Dick Hoyt
- That Pluto is no longer a planet, but Uranus is because Uranus is bigger.
- That thing under there
- That I just made you say underwear
- That just because you get older most people think that means that you have to grow up
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
No Go for OK Go At "Don't Go" Party
After I quipped that I should invite my favorite new band to our "Don't Go Into Labor" Day Party, Jeff suggested doing it for real. He said "Do. Invite them to your party. I think that's a very cool idea and one that you could leverage in your own 'power of social media' story."
So I did.
I sent an evite to the band OK Go. I invited them to come chill with us in the backyard for a few hours. Maybe play some badminton, hang in the hammock, listen to the End of Summer mix I made on iTunes, have a tall cold one. You know...just chill and raise a glass to the end of summer.
Alas, they cannot make it. But at least they were kind enough to reply. Here's what they wrote:
"Thanks for the invite Mary & Dan. Wish we could make it, but OK Go is going to be in CA this weekend. See you next time in KS! Damian, Dan, Tim, Andy"
Gotta give these guys some props for actually responding to the evite. After checking out their web site, blog, message board, myspace page, flickr group, podcast, newsletter, videogame, YouTube group and some of the fan based interactivities they have in place it's clear these guys get it. They are authentic and their using every arrow in their cyber quiver to get people on the OK Go bus. The best part of all of this, is that it is working. They're talking to fans and fans are talking back. There is no wall between the band and the fans.
Check out the YouTube OK Go dance group. They've challenged fans to video tape themselves doing one of the bands' dances. They've got 154 entries so far.
And the Fan Correspondent idea. Brilliant. Here's how they describe it:
Here's how it works: We'll pick one Fan Correspondent for each show and give them a ten minute interview with one or more band members plus free reign to document the show on video in any way you want--you can interview fans, fight the merch guy, or just set up the camera and let it roll. It's all up to you.
There are only three rules:
1) The band interview will be no more than 10 minutes
2) You have to use your own video camera
3) You have to edit and upload your footage to our YouTube group within a few days of the show
I'll definitely invite them next year, but with more than a weeks notice so they can plan accordingly.
So I did.
I sent an evite to the band OK Go. I invited them to come chill with us in the backyard for a few hours. Maybe play some badminton, hang in the hammock, listen to the End of Summer mix I made on iTunes, have a tall cold one. You know...just chill and raise a glass to the end of summer.
Alas, they cannot make it. But at least they were kind enough to reply. Here's what they wrote:
"Thanks for the invite Mary & Dan. Wish we could make it, but OK Go is going to be in CA this weekend. See you next time in KS! Damian, Dan, Tim, Andy"
Gotta give these guys some props for actually responding to the evite. After checking out their web site, blog, message board, myspace page, flickr group, podcast, newsletter, videogame, YouTube group and some of the fan based interactivities they have in place it's clear these guys get it. They are authentic and their using every arrow in their cyber quiver to get people on the OK Go bus. The best part of all of this, is that it is working. They're talking to fans and fans are talking back. There is no wall between the band and the fans.
Check out the YouTube OK Go dance group. They've challenged fans to video tape themselves doing one of the bands' dances. They've got 154 entries so far.
And the Fan Correspondent idea. Brilliant. Here's how they describe it:
Here's how it works: We'll pick one Fan Correspondent for each show and give them a ten minute interview with one or more band members plus free reign to document the show on video in any way you want--you can interview fans, fight the merch guy, or just set up the camera and let it roll. It's all up to you.
There are only three rules:
1) The band interview will be no more than 10 minutes
2) You have to use your own video camera
3) You have to edit and upload your footage to our YouTube group within a few days of the show
I'll definitely invite them next year, but with more than a weeks notice so they can plan accordingly.
Monday, August 28, 2006
My Emmy Award Awaits...
Okay...indulge me for a second here...I came up with a new TV show idea.
It's about a guy who built web sites for the sole intention of collecting email addresses that he could sell to spammers...he was a real dirt bag. Then one day he won the lottery. Things looked good up until the time he walked out of the 7-eleven with his winning ticket, got hit by a car and the ticket blew away in the wind. No longer a lottery winner, this guy decides it's time to make up for all the pain he caused selling email addresses to spammers. One by one he seeks out everyone whose email address he sold and tries to make it up to them. Name of the show?
My Name Is URL.
It's about a guy who built web sites for the sole intention of collecting email addresses that he could sell to spammers...he was a real dirt bag. Then one day he won the lottery. Things looked good up until the time he walked out of the 7-eleven with his winning ticket, got hit by a car and the ticket blew away in the wind. No longer a lottery winner, this guy decides it's time to make up for all the pain he caused selling email addresses to spammers. One by one he seeks out everyone whose email address he sold and tries to make it up to them. Name of the show?
My Name Is URL.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
My Favorite New Band
Friday, August 25, 2006
It Really Is The World Wide Web
Who knew I'd be known world wide? Certainly not me. Certainly not anyone who knows me. But apparently I've started developing some international attention. In the past few weeks I started tracking where visitors to this blog were coming from. While 95% were coming from the states (thanks for all the traffic mom!), 5% were from overseas.
In the past month I've had international visitors from:
And just why are they coming? To read this. Amazing isn't it. It is to me. Quite surprising really. So, I started thinking... A dangerous pastime - I know! But if people from all over the globe are interested I think I'll write a few more posts about life with the big dog. I've got a whole years worth of stories from life on the road to share. Question is, what should I write about next? Here are a few potential topics I've been thinking about:
So to my international fans (ha!) I say: Thanks. Merci. Dank u. ありがとう. Danke. Σας ευχαριστούμε. !ךל הדות, הדות. dekujeme Vam. terima kasih!
In the past month I've had international visitors from:
- Japan
- United Kingdom
- France
- Phillipines
- Australia
- Austria
- Canada
- Malaysia
- Netherlands
- Israel
- Czech Republic
- Syria
- Jordan
- United Arab Emerates
And just why are they coming? To read this. Amazing isn't it. It is to me. Quite surprising really. So, I started thinking... A dangerous pastime - I know! But if people from all over the globe are interested I think I'll write a few more posts about life with the big dog. I've got a whole years worth of stories from life on the road to share. Question is, what should I write about next? Here are a few potential topics I've been thinking about:
- Celebrity Encounters
- Traffic Court
- Getting Arrested
- Lost in Montauk
- Candid Camera
- Goodwill Hunting
- Hotel Tips
- Road Safety
- Long Distance Dating
- How to get on TV
- Hot Dog High
- Paul Simon's Driveway
- 4th of July
- Super Bowl
- All-Star Game
- Late Night With David Letterman
- Miss America Pageant
- Howdy Doody Festival
So to my international fans (ha!) I say: Thanks. Merci. Dank u. ありがとう. Danke. Σας ευχαριστούμε. !ךל הדות, הדות. dekujeme Vam. terima kasih!
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Some Assembly Required
Last week I purchased a very nice bookcase from Costco. It came in a great big box with lot's of pieces and needed to be assembled. I have put together lot's of furniture that needs assembly. Chairs, desks, small bookshelves, a kid size bed. Sometimes I have read the instructions, other times not. This time I did and it made my day.
Check out the tools required:
The instruction booklet outlines thirty steps necessary to assemble the bookshelf. A friend is required to help with ten of them. A friend is needed to help you position and hold the base upright, lift and install the right side into the base, lift and install the left side into the base, install the fixed shelf into the holes of the partition and left side panel, install the fixed shelf into the holes of the partition and right side panel, slide the apron under the left side, partition and right side, elevate the top of the unit approximately 3 1/2" off the floor and place foam under it, and of course to carefully set the unit to its upright position and move to the desired location.
The particular evening I chose to put the bookshelf together I did not have a friend handy. It was late at night and Mary and the girls were fast asleep. So I chose to go it alone. I managed okay, but could not help but think while I was assembling the bookcase that I would have had more fun had I had a friend with me.
As I finished cleaning up I read one last part of the instruction manual. It read:
"We sincerely hope that you have enjoyed assembling your bookcase and that you will make good use of it."
That sounded like something a grandpa or favorite uncle would say while giving a gentle pat on the head... "Well, that's a mighty fine looking bookshelf isn't it? As long as you took the time to assemble it you might as well make good use of it. But before you run off and play, what say we take a seat on these here rocking chairs on the front porch and enjoy a tall, cool, glass of lemonade? Ah, yup. Building a bookcase. That's a good days work. Makes you feel like you got somethin' done. Good job son."
So, thank you Plycraft Industries Incorporated. And a big thank you to the Plycraft Industries Inc. copywriter who took what could have been a very boring job of writing out instructions and instead made it fun and memorable. I will look for more of your products in the future because you put a smile on my face.
Thank you my friend. Thank you.
Check out the tools required:
The instruction booklet outlines thirty steps necessary to assemble the bookshelf. A friend is required to help with ten of them. A friend is needed to help you position and hold the base upright, lift and install the right side into the base, lift and install the left side into the base, install the fixed shelf into the holes of the partition and left side panel, install the fixed shelf into the holes of the partition and right side panel, slide the apron under the left side, partition and right side, elevate the top of the unit approximately 3 1/2" off the floor and place foam under it, and of course to carefully set the unit to its upright position and move to the desired location.
The particular evening I chose to put the bookshelf together I did not have a friend handy. It was late at night and Mary and the girls were fast asleep. So I chose to go it alone. I managed okay, but could not help but think while I was assembling the bookcase that I would have had more fun had I had a friend with me.
As I finished cleaning up I read one last part of the instruction manual. It read:
"We sincerely hope that you have enjoyed assembling your bookcase and that you will make good use of it."
That sounded like something a grandpa or favorite uncle would say while giving a gentle pat on the head... "Well, that's a mighty fine looking bookshelf isn't it? As long as you took the time to assemble it you might as well make good use of it. But before you run off and play, what say we take a seat on these here rocking chairs on the front porch and enjoy a tall, cool, glass of lemonade? Ah, yup. Building a bookcase. That's a good days work. Makes you feel like you got somethin' done. Good job son."
So, thank you Plycraft Industries Incorporated. And a big thank you to the Plycraft Industries Inc. copywriter who took what could have been a very boring job of writing out instructions and instead made it fun and memorable. I will look for more of your products in the future because you put a smile on my face.
Thank you my friend. Thank you.
"The thing about bathtubs is...
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Cat Tales
We had a cat a few years ago. We called him Thomas. His full name was Thomas J. J. Duff. The "J.J." stood for "Jumpin' Jehosaphat." Mary named him. Despite a few hard nibbles on an occasional passing ankle, and bringing live (and sometimes not live) bunnies into the house, Thomas was a good cat.
One day Thomas did not come home from his daily prowl around the neighborhood. Two days went past and he still was not to be found. I cruised the streets calling out his name, called the pound and local animal shelters, let the neighbors know he was missing and left food out for him. After three days it was becoming more and more likely that he was not coming home.
I wasn't sure how to break the news to the girls. I thought it might be good to get them used to the idea that he might not return, but not say it was definite. I wanted to ease them into the realization that he was gone. So on the fourth day I said to Hannah "Have you seen Thomas around?"
I thought this was a good way to start the conversation. I did not want her to panic if I said he was lost. She responded with "No. Do you think he ran into the street, got hit by a car and died?"
I was floored.
"Um, yeah, well, that may have happened. All we know is that he hasn't come home for four days and I wanted you to know that I've looked real hard for him. I don't think he'll be coming back."
"Okay. Can we get another cat then?"
Clearly she was okay with him being gone... As long as we got a replacement.
We did not pursue getting a new cat for several months. Then a woman who worked at Mary's office sent an email note out that she had found a stray that was litter box trained. She said she did not want to keep it because they already had two cats. She dropped of "Casey" at our house on a Saturday afternoon. We had asked her to bring the cat by so that we could see how he got along with the girls. It was our intention to check this guy out thoroughly before we decided to keep him or not. The woman who brought him left our house before we really made a decision. She just kinda said "Well, he's all yours. Good luck." And then took off.
We kept Casey in the basement for a while to make sure he got acclimated to his new surroundings and we were sure he learned where the litter box was located. Slowly he began to explore the rest of the house. But Casey had a problem. He had anger management issues. His idea of exploring was to go straight to the girls bedroom and pee all over the walls. He would even leave nice brown packages for us to find.
After a month of trying everything we could... save getting a kitty psychologist involved, we took Casey to a shelter. He would not get along with the girls. Looking back on it, the woman who brought him by the house must have experienced the same thing. Though he was a gorgeous cat, he crapped all over the place. I was more upset with that woman than the cat. She had to have known.
And yet, the girls still wanted to have a cat as pet.
It took several months before Mary and I were ready to try again. This time we went to a shelter to seek out a cat of our own. In Kansas City there is a great animal shelter called Wayside Waifs. They do a tremendous job taking care of stays and neglected animals. Thomas was from a shelter and we had always said we would get our next pet from a shelter.
We took the girls to Wayside Waifs so that they could help pick out our new cat. I was thinking the girls would pick out a kitten, but when Mary pointed out these two handsome adult cats, the girls fell in love. They were Maine Coon cats. They were five years old and they were brothers. They had been in the shelter for a month and a half and no one had yet adopted them.
Mary had said she'd consider getting two cats so that they could keep each other company during the day. As our luck would have it, the day we went to the shelter was a buy one get one free day. Plus, since these guys had been there for several weeks, they were available at a reduced rate. Mary is always looking for a bargain, so we got em!
The shelter had given them the names Lance & Roy. I wanted to name them Hank & Frank. Hannah and Grace won out and they now go by the names Fluffy & Furball.
And they are the nicest cats in the world.
One day Thomas did not come home from his daily prowl around the neighborhood. Two days went past and he still was not to be found. I cruised the streets calling out his name, called the pound and local animal shelters, let the neighbors know he was missing and left food out for him. After three days it was becoming more and more likely that he was not coming home.
I wasn't sure how to break the news to the girls. I thought it might be good to get them used to the idea that he might not return, but not say it was definite. I wanted to ease them into the realization that he was gone. So on the fourth day I said to Hannah "Have you seen Thomas around?"
I thought this was a good way to start the conversation. I did not want her to panic if I said he was lost. She responded with "No. Do you think he ran into the street, got hit by a car and died?"
I was floored.
"Um, yeah, well, that may have happened. All we know is that he hasn't come home for four days and I wanted you to know that I've looked real hard for him. I don't think he'll be coming back."
"Okay. Can we get another cat then?"
Clearly she was okay with him being gone... As long as we got a replacement.
We did not pursue getting a new cat for several months. Then a woman who worked at Mary's office sent an email note out that she had found a stray that was litter box trained. She said she did not want to keep it because they already had two cats. She dropped of "Casey" at our house on a Saturday afternoon. We had asked her to bring the cat by so that we could see how he got along with the girls. It was our intention to check this guy out thoroughly before we decided to keep him or not. The woman who brought him left our house before we really made a decision. She just kinda said "Well, he's all yours. Good luck." And then took off.
We kept Casey in the basement for a while to make sure he got acclimated to his new surroundings and we were sure he learned where the litter box was located. Slowly he began to explore the rest of the house. But Casey had a problem. He had anger management issues. His idea of exploring was to go straight to the girls bedroom and pee all over the walls. He would even leave nice brown packages for us to find.
After a month of trying everything we could... save getting a kitty psychologist involved, we took Casey to a shelter. He would not get along with the girls. Looking back on it, the woman who brought him by the house must have experienced the same thing. Though he was a gorgeous cat, he crapped all over the place. I was more upset with that woman than the cat. She had to have known.
And yet, the girls still wanted to have a cat as pet.
It took several months before Mary and I were ready to try again. This time we went to a shelter to seek out a cat of our own. In Kansas City there is a great animal shelter called Wayside Waifs. They do a tremendous job taking care of stays and neglected animals. Thomas was from a shelter and we had always said we would get our next pet from a shelter.
We took the girls to Wayside Waifs so that they could help pick out our new cat. I was thinking the girls would pick out a kitten, but when Mary pointed out these two handsome adult cats, the girls fell in love. They were Maine Coon cats. They were five years old and they were brothers. They had been in the shelter for a month and a half and no one had yet adopted them.
Mary had said she'd consider getting two cats so that they could keep each other company during the day. As our luck would have it, the day we went to the shelter was a buy one get one free day. Plus, since these guys had been there for several weeks, they were available at a reduced rate. Mary is always looking for a bargain, so we got em!
The shelter had given them the names Lance & Roy. I wanted to name them Hank & Frank. Hannah and Grace won out and they now go by the names Fluffy & Furball.
And they are the nicest cats in the world.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Crack Cookies
"Hi. My name is Dan. I am addicted to Lofthouse Frosted Sugar Cookies."
Yesterday I bought some cookies from the store as a treat for the girls for behaving exceptionally well while their mom was out of town. I consider it bribery after the fact. It's the least I could do, right?
When Mary came home today she saw only one cookie left. She took a bite and said "I cannot resist these cookies. They are like crack to me."
So I went back to the store and bought another batch. I ate one while one the way home. We only live four blocks from the store. I think Mary is right. If crack came in cookie form, Lofthouse would my dealer.
Yesterday I bought some cookies from the store as a treat for the girls for behaving exceptionally well while their mom was out of town. I consider it bribery after the fact. It's the least I could do, right?
When Mary came home today she saw only one cookie left. She took a bite and said "I cannot resist these cookies. They are like crack to me."
So I went back to the store and bought another batch. I ate one while one the way home. We only live four blocks from the store. I think Mary is right. If crack came in cookie form, Lofthouse would my dealer.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Scintillate, Scintillate Globule Vivific
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
For Jenne
Okay, so maybe it's not quite the same as going through chemo, but I too once lost all my hair - and not on purpose. I haven't shared this photo in public since they shaved my head as part of my rookie inititation to the Fordham hockey team. I was not proud of the look.
So there you go Jenne. I thought I'd share to give a smile. I look like a moog, don't I?
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