Sunday, July 30, 2006

Turn, Turn, Turn... To Flickr

It appeared in the Bible first. Pete Seeger put it to music. And the Byrds made it a hit.

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

I've gotten sidetracked from this blog. The last few posts have been about my artwork. While I do want you to enjoy those images, I am ready to get back to writing on the blog. As such I am going to post all future images of my paintings and illustrations over on Flickr. It's a great format for images and I'm going to use it as such. Check out the slide show... It's great.

I have posted a permanent (as if anything on the web is permanent, right?) link to my Flickr page over on the right hand side column under "Links". Appropriate, eh?

Please feel free to pass along the link to anyone who might be interested. I always welcome feedback/criticism. Thanks!

You can go straight to my Flickr page here.
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Saturday, July 29, 2006

Forbidden Alley


Colored Pencil, Marker, Airbrush. Copyright 2006 by Dan Duff.
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Forbidden Lion


Colored Pencil, Airbrush. Copyright 2006 by Dan Duff.
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Monday, July 24, 2006

Hands Of Color


Colored Pencil, Airbrush, Marker. Copyright 2006 by Dan Duff.
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Sunday, July 23, 2006

Stars & Stripes


Airbrush & Pen. Copyright 2006 by Dan Duff.
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Art Is Power


Acrylic on canvas. Copyright 2006 by Dan Duff.
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Harder Than I Thought

Okay, my idea about having you guys suggest titles for future posts is proving to be a lot harder than I thought. So far I've only really been able to deliver on one solid post - My First Arrest. I am not counting Take Your Finger Out Of There and Lost In Translation because I took the easy route with those and found a video and an image to plug in. That video still makes me crack up.

I've got the list printed out and taped next the the computer. I am keeping it there as a reminder to try to use them whenever possible. I've got to admit I have no idea right now how I will use some of them. I promise I will find a way to write a post with the headlines "There's No Dignity In Plastic" and "Fuzzy Shoulders". My muse has not spoken to me about those yet.

But since I did get a couple emails asking if the painting posted in Lost In Translation was mine and if I had others to share, I am going to talk about art for a while. And yes, that was one of my paintings. I do have prints available of some of these if you are interested. Just let me know.

So, stay tuned as we change the focus of this blog for a few days to a more cultured and sophisticated one... the art of Dan Duff. Yeah right, cultured and sophisticated? I'll let you be the judge.

Art posts coming soon. I hope you enjoy - and let me know what you think. Thanks!
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Monday, July 17, 2006

Lost In Translation


Title suggested by Steve.
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Friday, July 14, 2006

Phun With Photoshop


Mary thinks this is the scariest picture ever. I think it is hilarious.
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Friday, July 07, 2006

My First Arrest

Charlie made me do it. I was a good boy. Really. I was.

I was six and Charlie was seven. We were next door neighbors so we were, by default, friends. I have no idea where he is today. We had a fight and I bit him once. We stopped playing together and then eventually our family moved far away... ten blocks.

But before that we were friends and played together all the time. It was 1976 and I wore a yellow baseball hat, a red, white and blue wrist band, cut off jeans and a mesh tank top with the number 76 on it - all the time. I was stylin'. I have no idea what Charlie wore, though I am sure it was equally as cool. It was '76 after all. We played all the time. We played with each other and with the neighborhood kids. Our street even had it's own baseball team. We were organized by one of the older kids on the block. He and a friend from the north part of town arranged a baseball league. We lived on Maple Avenue and went by the moniker of the Maple Maulers. I can only recall one other team and they were the Forest Firemen. They lived on Forest Avenue.

We had shirts with numbers. I got one too even though I was six at the time and didn't really play. I was essentially the team mascot. Still, having a t-shirt with a number and being part of the Maulers gave me a sense of belonging. It was like we had our own gang. Nobody messes with the Maple Maulers... or their kid mascot.

Maybe it was the gang influence. Maybe it was age. Maybe it Charlie or maybe, just maybe, it was just a lack of impulse control that got me into trouble with the law.

I regret to this day that it happened. I wish I could have taken back my actions, but I cannot. I cannot take back the forward motion of my little arm that launched a wooden scrub brush at Bobby D'Andre and his bicycle. I cannot take back the fact that it hit him and made him cry. For that I feel bad.

But he was a punk. He was a seven year old punk.

The day of the incident he kept riding his bike down our street. The street that belonged to the Maulers. He taunted us. He said things that pushed our buttons. He wouldn't leave me and Charlie alone. So we plotted how to take him out. How could we let this punk know that he was on our turf. He had to learn. He had to be driven away. We were going to make an example out of him. No one messes with the Maulers. No one.

So we found a wooden scrub brush. It was probably one Charlie's dad used to keep his white walls clean. Charlie handed me the brush and told me that I should throw it at Bobby. It didn't feel right, but Charlie convinced me to do it. I thought I'd give it a try the next time he drove by. So I did. I did not really think I would hit him. I did not really think I would even come close. But I nailed him. I nailed good and hard with that brush. So hard that he started to cry immediately and raced home. There was no doubt he was going to tell his dad about this. He said so as he peddled off in tears.

So we hid. We went to our back yard and laid low. All was good until later that evening when my father got home. I do not know what was said. I do not know who he spoke with. All I know is that I was in serious trouble. Mom and Dad wore scowls. That was never good.

They told me in a very calm, yet stern manner that the Wilmette Police had called them and that I was in trouble. They had to take me to the station for an investigation into "the incident". I was mortified. The police? How could this have happened? I was only six years old! I didn't think six year olds could go to jail. What was happening to me? How could I have ruined my life so easily. My life was clearly never going to be the same. How could I get out of this? Could I blame Charlie? Was he in trouble too? Did the police call his family? I needed to talk to him immediately to get our story straight, but my parents prevented me from talking to him. There were no stops along the way. It was straight from the house to the car to the station. I was going down. Big time.

I remember the drive to the station. It was dead quiet. I remember the walk from the car to the station as dead quiet too. I swear there wasn't a cicada chirping, the wind stopped blowing and everyone, EVERYONE on the street stopped what they were doing and stared. There he goes. The foolish boy who could not control his impulses. Too bad. So young. I was a dead six year old walking.

As we walked into the station I stared at the ground. I could not bear to meet anyone eye to eye, lest that be all it took for them to pronounce me guilty and send me straight off to jail. They could do that couldn't they? Look you straight in the eye and immediately decide that your case was hopeless? They could do that couldn't they? Eyes down. Don't speak unless spoken too. Use your very best, most polite manners and no matter what do not give them an excuse to lock you away.

We sat in the hallway for an eternity before an officer finally came out from a back room and asked Dad if he could speak with me about the incident. Alone. Dad said yes. I followed the officer to his desk and he directed me to a chair to sit in. He then asked me about the incident. He knew what happened and let me know that he had already spoken with Bobby and his parents about the incident. Crud. He also told me that Charlie was there too. He was in another part of the station being interrogated about the incident by another officer. Double crud. He let me know that he had already heard Charlie's version and now wanted to hear from me what happened. So I told him.

I told him that we went to the same school as Bobby. I told him that Bobby lived on another street. I told him that Bobby was teasing us and not saying nice things to us. I told him that Bobby was bugging us.

And then he asked about throwing the scrub brush at Bobby.

"Who threw the scrub brush at Bobby?"

"I did"

"Why did you do it?"

"Charlie told me to do it."

"Did you think that was a nice thing to do?"

"No sir."

"You knew it was a bad thing, didn't you?"

"Yes, sir."

"Did you know you could have seriously injured Bobby?"

"No, sir. I mean, I guess so. I mean, I didn't think about that."

"What do you think the police should do about this now?"

Holy crud. This wasn't really a question. It was a set up for him to tell me what my punishment was going to be.

"I don't know, sir." I said

The rest of the interrogation was a blur. I couldn't think. Here I was about to be told that my life as I knew it was over. Should I cry? Would that get me sympathy? What about running? Maybe I could make a break for it and live life on the lam. Sure, I could do that. I had plenty of friends. I bet Stutz would figure out a way to help me. Maybe he could leave a window open and I could slip into their basement to sleep at night. No, wait... I could be found out. I'd have to keep running. The cops found out about the scrub brush incident pretty quickly. They would find out even quicker that Stutz and I were good friends. Running wasn't an option. I was going to have to take my lumps.

And then, somehow they let me go home. I was a free man. I was not going to jail. I was going home!

Wait. Mom and Dad couldn't send me to jail but they could also make my life miserable if they chose. And they did. They told me that this was not over and that I had to apologize to Bobby... with his dad there... and Charlie and I were not to play with each other any more.

Crud.

----------------------
Title for this post suggested by Jenne.
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Thursday, July 06, 2006

Take Your Finger Out Of There!


Post title suggested by Jeff Risley. I immediately thought of this video. I cannot help but laugh each and everytime I see this. Enjoy and thank Jeff or the idea!
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Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Now Taking Requests

Okay. Experiment time. You give me a title for a post. Any title. Just make one up, and I will write the post to go with it. Let's try to keep it clean and only three or four words to the title. Make it short and sweet and give me some room to be creative enough to make the post fit the title.

Any takers? I know there are a couple regular readers out there. C'mon, let's try it out.
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Tuesday, July 04, 2006

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. For A Five Year Old

Mary took the girls to a Fourth of July Festival down by the village center today. While there the girls each got a balloon from a magician. Grace got a pretty flower (a daffodil she says) and Hannah got a yellow bunny rabbit (with "floppy moppy ears").

The girls took their balloon creations to the party at Uncle Bill and Aunt Terry's house later in the day. On the way to the party Hannah expressed great concern that her balloon would blow away if we had all the windows rolled down. Grace likes to control her own window on nice days and wanted hers down. We agreed that it would be better for the balloons if we went with a/c.

We made the girls leave the balloons in the car while we were at the party. I had no desire to deal with a fit of screams if someone at the party were to accidentally pop a balloon. We survived the party without a balloon incident. Grace did try to pick up a sparkler with her hands, but she's okay and will heal fine.

So it was about 10:15 PM when the fireworks had ended and we finally got the girls wrangled and buckled into their seats. Hannah requested to listen to "the monkey song" aka Another Postcard by Barenaked Ladies. Soon we were jammin.

And then we heard the squeaky twists of balloon on balloon. Hannah was playing with the bunny. Then... Pop! Quicker than you could say "don't play too hard with your balloon bunny or you will likely pop the lower torso and be only left with the floppy moppy ears" the lower torso of the bunny disappeared. Hannah was left holding a still inflated pair of floppy moppy ears. The rest of the bunny lay dangling, deflated, in shreds.

And then came the tears. It was well past bedtime so over all we thought she had held out well for the majority of the evening. We anticipated a melt down at some point. But then Grace stepped in. And what she said to her sister made our hearts get warm and fuzzy. You know, the way you feel after seeing a really good Hallmark Cards commercial?

Grace said to Hannah "That's okay sissie. I'll share my balloon with you. Part of mine popped earlier, but I'll trade with you if you want." And the tears started to dry up instantly.

"Okay...sniff, sniff... I'll trade with you. Thanks. Here you go." Said Hannah

But then upon being handed a the remnants of the bunny and realizing that she was getting just the ears Grace took back her flower and tossed back the bunny to Hannah. She said quite simply "I don't want to trade for that."

And the tears started flowing. Hannah was really upset now. How dare Grace take back her offer. A deal was a deal. And then like a mob boss who just found out that his right hand man had turned state's evidence against him, Hannah said sternly... "So this is how you treat me? Where is the respect!?!? You are not giving me respect!?!!!"

Wow. I thought this was about a balloon. Apparently Hannah and Grace have some baggage between them that I am not aware of yet.
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Happy Birthday Roddy!




Happy 41st Birthday from your little brother (on the right, in the green jacket!)
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Saturday, June 24, 2006

Why Even Bother?


Another direct mail piece that arrived today. Check out the disclaimer for matching competitor coupons. It's on the left side under the photo. You may have to click on the image to enlarge it.
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Lazy Advertising = No Deal

I've been at home sick for the past three days. I hate summer colds. But what I hate more is lazy advertising. You know, the kind of ad you see where you just think to yourself "Did they really think that was the best thing to do?" or "Man, they really didn't spend anytime thinking about that did they?".

Today I received two pieces of direct mail that caused me to pause and ask "What were they thinking?"

One was from a local Nissan dealer. We used to have a Maxima so we had taken our car there in the past. We've bought cars from their Honda dealership in the past too. We have been pleased with both the sales and service relationship at the dealership so it was not surprising to get a direct mail piece from them. We've gotten them in the past. It wasn't even surprising to see the caliber of the creative. It is what you would expect. Not good.

The second piece was from Time Warner Cable. We do not have cable. In fact Time Warner Cable is on my list of companies that if given no other choice I still would not do business with them. Long story, but let's just say that they wanted to charge us $10,000 to cut down trees so they could get a line to the house. All of our neighbors have cable and didn't have to go through that. Okay... feeling a rant coming that is going to get me off topic... so back to the ads.

So we got an ad from a car dealer and an ad from a cable company. And what message did they choose to use? They both stole/borrowed/used with creative license from the TV show Deal Or No Deal. Here are the ads for each:







I expect a car dealership to add to the messaging clutter that's out there. I even expect them to rip off their message from a game show like Deal Or No Deal. I do, for some reason even though I won't do business with them, expect more from Time Warner Cable. Maybe it's because I know they can hire a big time agency to do the work. Maybe it's because I've seen some of their communication efforts that have been of a higher quality in the past. Maybe it's because when I see a car dealership do the same thing I think that Time Warner Cable has really hit rock bottom.

Now, that's slamming Time Warner Cable a lot, but perhaps I should say a thing something about O'Neill Nissan contributing to the clutter too. C'mon guys! You can do a whole lot better. In fact if you want to really stand out do not take an idea that anyone can think of and slap your name on it. Think about your customers. You must have reams of data on us. There has to be something there that you can use to develop an insightful communication. What about your sales people? Did you talk to them? They surely have some insight you could have used. Instead you were lazy and added to the clutter.

So the message here? It does not matter what size your company is, what industry you are in, what your advertising budget is... you too can produce bad advertising. All you have to do is... not think.
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Thursday, June 22, 2006

Scarred For Life

I have a scar on my head. Two actually, but only one I can see. I also have a scar on my elbow, on my left foot between my big toe and its neighbor, on my stomach, three on my shoulder, one on the middle finger of my right hand and one on my left wrist. Those are the ones that have not faded. I can still see these. Some are from surgeries. Some are from accidents.

There is a story to go with each scar. Life lessons that I am reminded of every day. Here is what I've learned from each:

Scar on middle finger of right hand: Let sleeping dogs lie. Especially if they are hung over.

Scar on left wrist: Only a licensed physician should remove a ganglion cyst. There isn't a bible big enough, nor is Gram strong enough to smash it to smithereens - though she really wanted to.

Scar on foot by big toe: Some people are inconsiderate and won't stop to help even though the damage caused was because of their actions.

Scar on elbow: recycling can be dangerous and a some politicians can be real and nice.

Scar on stomach: people who love you will make sure you are taken care of when you cannot do it yourself

Scars on shoulder: not everything can be fixed.

Scar on head: Gram, at times, has a very disturbed sense of humor.
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Saturday, June 17, 2006

Lindsey Mulligan Where Are You Now?

Tonight I was looking through some of my old notes and letters I received back in my Wienermobile days and came across one of my favorites. I never met the person who wrote it, but I imagine now that she had a personality somewhat like my eldest daughter. Here is the note she left on the windshield of the Wienermobile while Jeanne and I were eating dinner at a nearby restaurant:


When we returned to the Wienermobile and read the note we immediately packed up two wiener whistles, a watch and a hot wheels Wienermobile and left them in the mailbox for Lindsey. It was the least we could do for a fan.

I remember people asking me why we smiled all the time when we drove the big dog around. Letters like this are the reason.
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Thursday, June 15, 2006

From Normandy to Kentucky

I've been on vacation for the past two weeks. Some of the things I've done while away:
  • took three guided tours
  • visited one cemetary
  • visited one abbey
  • swam in one lake impounded (built) by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers
  • fell off a jet ski eight times (six times on purpose)
  • went fishing with my daughters (they caught six fish - three each)
  • attended a family reunion
  • spent sixteen hours in the Odyssey driving with the family
  • got sunburned twice (two different continents)
  • took four rolls of film, filled one compact flash card with photos
  • played one game of checkers
  • went swimming in both an indoor and outdoor pool
  • ate at McDonald's twice (two different continents)
  • listened to the girls watch 102 Dalmations three times; Barbie Swan Lake twice; The Worst Witch once
  • saw the world's longest tapestry
  • played sixteen holes of golf
  • walked on beaches in two different continents & found seashells at both
  • spent twenty six hours in airplanes, airports and on tarmacs
  • visited the home of Monet
  • played Trivial Pursuit
  • fixed a flat tire
  • called into the office once... officially (calling Sam's cell phone twice doesn't count does it?)
  • went to the top of the Arch in St. Louis
  • went two weeks without watching tv or reading a newspaper
  • played Sodoku and got addicted
  • read The World Is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman
  • came up with three new business opportunities, ideas for two new paintings and a video to make for the girls
  • attended a going away party for a former colleague
  • made plans to buy a kitten for the girls
  • shared a chocolate bag with Mary and Gram
  • thought up reasons to explain why I haven't posted in over three weeks and then decided to get the point across with this list
I'm sure there is more that we did, but I cannot recall all the details now. We had a wonderful time with family and friends over the past two weeks. Though it was refreshing and fun I am glad to be back at home in my own bed tonight.

Now to catch up on some sleep. Good night!
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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Heaven Left Me Feeling Slimy

This past weekend was spent at a Westin Hotel in Las Vegas. Aside from getting some really great work done, the best part of the weekend was experiencing the Westin "Heavenly Bed". It was by far the best hotel bed that I have splept in. I was on board with the experience being "heavenly".

The concept of delivering a heavenly experience extended beyond the bed to other parts of the room. They had provided heavenly towels, heavenly pillows, heavenly shower curtains (which were curved to give extra room in the shower - how heavenly).

When I woke up the first morning of our stay at the hotel I felt refreshed. I did indeed have a heavenly night's sleep. I was buying into this brand experience 100%. I was "all in" as they say in Vegas.

Leaving the comfort of my heavenly bed I strolled merrily to the bathroom to take what I anticipated to be a heavenly shower. I may have even been whistling a tune. Something perky I'm sure. I turned on the water to just the right temperature - not scalding hot, but not luke warm- somewhere in between.

I stepped into the shower and put shampoo in my hair and grabbed a bar of heavenly white soap. And this is where I got mad at the Westin. What I discovered in the shower made me temporarily forget the heavenly night's sleep I just woke from. The hotel had not delivered a 360 degree heavenly experience. In fact there was just one element that I experienced that almost ruined it all for me. The water that came out of the shower head was soft. And I hate soft water.

Now, I know I shouldn't necessarily blame the hotel for the soft water. It was probably out of their control. But I did spend quite a long time in the shower trying to get the slimy soft water feeling off my body, face and hands. I felt like Leonardo DiCaprio as Howard Hughes in the Aviator. I just could not get my hands clean. I scrubbed and scrubbed them to the point where they were starting to feel raw.

Later on in the day I shared my frustration with Sam, Mike, Ky and Julie about the soft water. Julie actually prefers soft water. For her the experience very well may have been 100% heavenly. But for me and the rest of us who prefer hard water to soft, the Westin was running a risk of failing to deliver as strong a brand experience as they could.

I know this may be asking a lot of a hotel to be able to control the water, but wouldn't that be something if they asked upon check-in to the hotel "Welcome to the Westin Mr. Duff. Would you prefer hard or soft water for your stay with us?"

Now that would be delivering a heavenly experience.
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