Friday, April 21, 2006

I Cheated. I Feel Shame.

I thought there was no way I would go back. I was wrong.

The relationship I had been working on over the past three and half months was the right one. I knew it. I wanted it to work out. I really did. I knew cheating was bad. Cheating meant that I was weak. I'd had a long standing affair for many years. Who was I to think that I would be able to move on?

There was no pressure from the other party to get back together. There was no reason to abandon my new relationship. Sure it was new and new sometimes wears off, but it was healthy. No doubt about that. It was healthy.

I caved on Monday. Tax day.

I've tried to justify this in my head. After all when I cheated it wasn't with the one I'd been having an affair with for the past three years. I went back to the one I knew first.

Unlike Odysseus the journey I was on was self imposed. And no one nor anything was out to stop me from going back for another taste of that sweet, sweet nectar. No Scylla. No Charybdis. The only thing preventing me from going back was my own will power.

I feel I must admit my guilt publicly and ask for forgiveness from my recent partner and my previous drinking buddy. I've cheated on you both.

So I'm sorry bottled water. I owe you an apology. You were good, still are, but I could not resist the siren call of cola.

And to you Diet Dr. Pepper. I thought my affair with you was the right thing to do. After all you were diet cola. For a while I thought that was a healthy alternative.

But my first love. My drinking partner from my youth. The beverage I loved so much that I could and would drink it warm. I have come home. I missed you Classic Coca Cola. It was good to be with you again.

But if I gain back the ten pounds I lost while living with only water I will drop you like a rock. I am that fickle.

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